We should choose HOPE

Being at the Rotary Run for Life brings a lot of emotions. The biggest one is FEAR. I do not want to experience the pain some of these families feel. Another is SHAME. I realize that it is still hard for me to openly discuss this matter especially with kids. I am afraid of saying the wrong thing. But not saying anything is probably worse. SADNESS. When the families walked in with the names of their loved ones I felt great sorrow. I was focusing specifically on one family who has lost 3 different members – a father, a brother and a nephew.

Everyone should have a safe place to go to. A place where they can reach out and know they can have someone who cares. A place they can recharge and regain HOPE.

Today I felt the pain of the families who are suicide survivors. I want to make my surrounding – my home, my work, the kwoon – a place where people know that there is always hope, there is someone that will listen, there is always a reason to LIVE.

Where am I going?

I'm standing at the end of the path. I’m looking ahead and I’m not sure where to go. There are different options all around me. I feel that I need to dismantle myself and go in all direction. But this is not an option. I don’t want to stay where I am and definitely I do not want to go back. I have to look ahead and figure out the best path for me. But it is not easy as I cannot see where each of the new paths is going. Some paths seem to be exciting but have obstacles to pass while some seem easy but might be uninspiring. There are some paths that seem too steep and some that have warning signs. In the last few weeks I’ve been spinning around and not able to clearly see where I want to go. I wish I had an answer but it might take a while to find the right one. Maybe the path I need to take in the near future is not my path and by selecting a path for someone else with someone else I will eventually find the road I want to be on.

A shovel and dirt

In the last few weeks I've struggling with injuries that prevent me from practicing all I plan to. Every week I feel like I'm taking a shovel and digging deeper and deeper. Making it harder for myself to get out from. I keep pushing myself and maybe I should stop, think and start digging in the right direction. Maybe carving some stairs that will help get out... I got a book that has "simple" core exercise routine. I read it all and I want to start implement the exercises. It takes more time as I'm not familiar with the exercises but I hope that within few weeks I can do them without looking at the book. I'm re-evaluating my goals for this year and I think that core and flexibility are key for me.

Maintenance Week

Like most things in life, if you don't maintain it, it will not run in top shape, it will tear and break. It is true for our cars, houses, our bodies and it is also true for the kwoon. Every year, on the week kids return to school, we take a break from classes and embark in kwoon maintenance. This year the maintenance week is from August 31st to September 5th.

As I said, it is important to keep the kwoon in a top condition and this week allows us to do so. Some years we have bigger projects and some years we focus on cleaning.

However there is another aspect to this week that can even have a bigger impact on us. Taking care of the kwoon will also enhance the connection to the place. It will make you feel you belong, that this is your home. It is also a great time to interact with fellow students (and instructors) in a more informal matter.

I highly encourage everyone to participate. You will not regret it.

Is it worth it

Endless hours of packing, a loooong drive, grumpy kids in the back of the car... Well we made it to Goodsoil Saskatchewan. 

Now it is time to relax, enjoy some beach time, cabin time, camp fire. 

Was it worth the long drive? Definitely. 

Hard work, sweat, challenges. It is all worth it when you have a good goal as getting your black belt, better yourself and your surrounding. 

As hard as it has been in the last few weeks, I'm not forgetting why I'm doing this and why it is worth it. 

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

If I train and no one is around to see it, am I getting better?
If I care about others and their training, can they see that I care and want to help?

There is no doubt in my mind on the integrity of why I train and why I teach Kung Fu. I'm not sure that I always convey it in the best way. I truly want to better myself and my surrounding. Sometimes when I train I can be seen as sluggish, grumpy. Sometimes when I teach I can be seen as indifferent, disconnected. But I'm not. I do have my own struggles and time limits but when I train or teach Kung Fu I'm truly there in the moment. 

Environmental Guerrilla

I was just sitting down to write my blog and then the call came in. It was on. The mission had began.

I sneaked out of the house, grabbed the wagon and walked around the neighborhood. After about 5 minutes of walking I was there standing in front of the 3 stranded trees. The 3 trees were pulled out few days ago for road construction and no one thought about planting them back. They were drying up and 2 of them without much dirt. I picked the 2 into the wagon and carried them to their future home. Then there was the third tree. Still with a big bulb of dirt. After reducing its size to a weight I could carry, I hauled it with the van close to the new planting site and then carried it in. It was all dark and I was trying to be as quite as a ninja could be.

I don't know if the trees will survive but at least I tried instead of letting them dry up.